


Dude...

by BlueTee



Series: The 'C' in Miraculous stands for CRACK [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien is a doodle, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Nino says bro a lot, Not that much of crack and not that serious either, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:20:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueTee/pseuds/BlueTee
Summary: In which Adrien has been unknowingly flirting a lot and Nino's possessed by the spirit of Mrs. Bennet. Crack!fic but not really.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Nino Lahiffe
Series: The 'C' in Miraculous stands for CRACK [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2074149
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Dude...

After Marinette stuttered something before quickly running away to her parents bakery, Nino heard Adrien’s small chuckle.

He raised an eyebrow after noticing his friend’s soft gaze following the girl. 

“Marinette is adorable, isn’t she?” Adrien commented, almost as an after-thought. 

All that Nino heard was the sound of his ship sailing.

“Dude, you should totally ask her out!”

Adrien chuckled again. “Nah, she’s just a friend.”

_Just a-_

Okay, full stop, this stupidity ends now.

Placing both of his hands on Adrien’s shoulders, he forced his friend to turn and face him.

“Adrien. My dude. My bro. Brotato. Marinette has the biggest, most obvious and diabetes-indulcing crush on you. She’s head over heels for you. If you confess to her, the sheer shock could probably kill her on the spot because she wouldn’t be able to handle so much happiness. _AND YOU_ keep watching her like a lost puppy. Forget this whole ‘just a friend’ desilusion and ask. the. girl. out.”

Adrien blinked, slowly. Nino could almost see the gears turning inside his head. He hoped that the effort to see the truth didn’t fry his bro’s brain.

“Marinette likes me?”

God bless this oblivious noodle. “Yes!”

“But she’s just-”

**“DUDE.”**

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, like a fish out of water.

“But I like someone else.”

Okay, that one surprised Nino. It was his first time hearing that.

“In that case, you’re giving _everyone_ the wrong impression about Marinette, my dude.” Kim was even running a secret betting pool on who would confess first and when. Nino had put his money on Adrien and was already regretting it. “So, who’s the lucky girl? Or boy? Oh, is it Kagami?”

“What? No, no, it’s not Kagami.”

If it was not the girl with whom he spend almost all of his free hours with, and who he consistently invited to be his date at every public event, then they had a situation in hands.

“Are you playing with the poor girl, Adrien?”

“WHAT? No, why?”

“Mixed signals, my dude, mixed signals!”

“Kagami’s just a friend!”

Nino let go of his shoulders to facepalm, _hard._

“Jesus freaking Christ, it’s worse than I thought.” He took one deep breath. “Okay, my emotionally constipated bro. If it’s not Marinette, the girl in the receiving end of your lovesick stares, and if it’s not Kagami, the girl you have unknowingly been dating for a few weeks now, then who is it? Chloé?”

“Now you’re just messing with me. Chloé is my childhood friend and you know that.”

 _As if_ that _wasn’t a popular fanfic trope._

“Lila?”

“Hell no!”

That was a strong reaction. Nino cataloged that one for later.

“Well, in that case who-” a terrifying thought crossed his mind, leaving Nino at lost for words.

_Oh._

Oh, _no._

Oh, please, God, **no.**

“Adrien?”

Please, don’t say Ladybug.

“Yes?”

 _Please_ , don’t say Ladybug.

“You aren’t talking about Ladybug, are you?”

“...no.”

**DAMMIT.**

“Dude. My noodle. Doodle. Do I need to walk you through the concept of celebrity crush?”

“Of course not!”

“So why are you snubbing and somehow at the same time misleading two perfectly eligible girls…”

“Why are you suddenly talking like a Jane Austen’s character?”

“...in favor of a crush on LADY. EFFING. BUG. Superhero extraordinary, Paris’ savior, the girl out of literally everyone’s league with the exception of maybe, _a hard maybe_ , Chat Noir?”

_"Why a hard maybe?”_

“DUDE. FOCUS.”

“I don’t have a celebrity crush on Ladybug!”

“Do you know her outside the mask? Do you know her secret identity?”

“Of course not!”

“Are you secretly Chat Noir?”

“ **No.** Nope. _No_.”

“THEN. It 's. A. Celebrity. Crush.”

Adrien opened his mouth again to retort, but with a heavy sight he only lowered his head and mumbled. “It’s not a celebrity crush.”

Nino suddenly felt like a fourth grader bullying a kindergarten student. 

“Okay, my dude, I will put this under your _‘rich people things’_ that I don’t get and let it go. It’s not a celebrity crush.”

“Thank you.”

“Now can we _please_ come back to the fact that you have been dating Kagami _and_ flirting with Marinette unknowingly?”

“No, I haven’t!”

_“Dude…”_

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to put this on my crack series because this is just silly humor and not crack enough, but then I noticed that all the other fics had a moment of Adrien almost letting slip that he's chat noir too, so whatever. It stays here.


End file.
